


Living so the last night feels like a past life

by jaesuh



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Polyamory, poly rights baby!, we die like men!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29822880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaesuh/pseuds/jaesuh
Summary: There are only a few things in life that fully- capable Jung jaehyun can not have. He has a list of it; the list probably contains mundane and totally reasonable things--a hand mixer( the last time he had one in his hands things did NOT end well)-That Gucci belt he’s wanted since forever (that belt not only looks like a million bucks but also costs a million bucks. His bank account could do without that big of a splurge. It’s probably for the best that the belt remains OUT of his possession. When nct 127 sang regular they were 100% bluffing.)-oh, and Johnny and Ten. Among other thingsAmong those things, there’s only one he desperately wants, and he’s not talking about the Gucci belt.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Kudos: 11





	Living so the last night feels like a past life

Jaehyun doesn’t get the obsession.  
It’s all everyone is talking about now; whenever he checks his social media, it’s full of just fans speculating.  
He frowns down at his phone. It's way too early in the morning for his head to form coherent thoughts, but also Johnny has posted a picture of himself on the work it set; looking unfairly gorgeous in a brightly coloured suit, which is beside the point.

He's more than 100% sure the picture is taken by Ten. His suspicions are confirmed when less than 10 minutes later (he definitely did NOT spend those ten minutes staring at Johnny's post, No sir) ten posts a picture too, in the same set; also looking unfairly gorgeous ALSO in a brightly coloured suit. But that's not the point either, the point is that they're not even trying to be subtle here. He spends a good ten minutes staring at tens post too(which will remain a secret) until he's whisked away to continue shooting for his drama.

Jaehyun doesn’t get the obsession. So what if he stalks their posts? He’s the one being left behind. The least he can do is stew about it.  
With a heavy sigh, Jaehyun drops his phone back on the table, then lets his forehead thunk down next to it. It only hurts a little bit, and at this point Jaehyun is exhausted enough to not think about it.  
(Except he thinks about it a lot, that’s all he does. He thinks, and he feels, and then things never work out for him.)

He needs a little convincing, a bit of an internal pep-talk, but half an hour later Jaehyun is seated in an old minivan, on the way to his drama shooting. Frankly, likes the drama, he likes the plot and he likes his co-workers adequately, what he doesn't like is the long hours, the lack of sleep. Don't get him wrong he is ever so grateful for the opportunity but in the filming time of the drama, jaehyun has lost countless hours of sleep and has skipped an infinite number of meals. Between, shooting a big drama and rehearsals for a major comeback somewhere along the line jaehyun had gotten lost. He was consistently exhausted. Usually, Johnny and ten keep him grounded, get him to rest, but they're to busy being smitten with each other to notice his problems. (Secretly jaehyun is incredibly happy for them, after being separated with a couple of thousand miles between them Jaehyun was so happy to witness the way they both light up when they saw each other at the airport)

Even though jaehyun tries not to think too much about the two men; currently the bane of his existence. He does, whenever he has time. On the van to shooting and in his trailer between scenes. Jaehyun wonders if they get to spend enough time together. Where they are going out for snacks today or if ten comes over to their place when Jaehyun is out.

He zones out, sprawled on the floor of the practice room Staring at a little mirror but not quite seeing himself. What it comes down to is this: Ten and Johnny are a couple. The couple, even. It hadn’t really come as a surprise to him after the entire fucking mess that had been the year after the formation of WayV, but he can’t deny he had hoped to have more time before having to see them together all the time.

Sometimes Jaehyun looks around in practice and sees Johnny eyes laser-focused on tens dancing frame; he understands it. Ten is an incredible dancer. He commands attention when he dances, so if jaehyun were to be tens boyfriend he'd be doing the exact same thing Johnny is-gaping at ten being stunning.(Actually, he does do that regardless of his relationship with ten- or rather lack thereof- but so is the rest of the room, you can’t blame jaehyun) Once the practice ends, he watches ten place a drink in Johnny's locker, just barely makes out the shape of his grin from behind his shoulder. Johnny’s face- he doesn’t know how to describe it. He doesn't grin as he does usually when he jokes around, but Johnny's face softens up and his eyes glimmer. It’s personal; that expression. Meant for only his lovers to see. Its been so long since Jaehyuns has seen that upfront. Shouldn’t see, actually. Since it’s not meant for him.  
Oh.  
(Things Jaehyun cant have: can’t have: a smile.)

Jaehyun cant do it. He genuinely can not do it. 

Sure when they were friends Tens teasing smile and flirty attitude was something that Jaehyun looked forward to. But now Jaehyun was actively aware of his heartbeat around ten and not to mention the fact that ten is dating his literal best friend. Jaehyun's heart keeps telling him that this is wrong and his brain begs him to get out of this situation. But his body simply refuses to cooperate. So he remains seated on the slightly uncomfortable chair the café they're at provides and tries not to wince every time ten brings up how great of a boyfriend Johnny is. Realistically there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, they're hanging out- as friends, they're catching up- platonically, nothing even vaguely immoral going on. But Jaehyuns conscience keep telling him that what he's doing is wrong. It tells Jaehyun that he's lying to Tens face.

"I could set you up ,you know? Ten says at one point, grinning like a cat. Jaehyuns heart rate speads up because- oh no. 

"I have this friend, he's a dancer and he's thai like me- but pettier"He continues , completely ignoring his friend having a minor stroke right in front of him. Jaehyun rakes hs head for an answer; something witty; nonchlant, something-"Impossible, no ones prettier than you" Well; that works too.

"No but seriously- he'd be great for you and i know youre his type" Ten wasnt lying — In his eyes Jaehyun was attractive, beyond his good looks but just his entire personality, magnetic and warm. He doesn't know why Jaehyun doesn't take advantage of that more often. 

"Isnt he pretty?" He pulls out his phone and pulls up a picture of the boy. Jaehyun cant disagree. Objectively he is beautiful. Perhaps Jaehyun has ruined other prospects by falling for the two most stunning guys in existence, but as much as jaehyun sees the appeal he doesn’t feel it. The stranger is beautiful and jaehyun is sure his personality would be al sorts of lovely but he sees no one but johnny and ten and that’s progressively becoming bigger of an issue.His reaction is lacklustre, he only shrugs a bit, sounding distracted. "I guess so."

Ten frowns. "So?"

Jaehyun looks at him. "So what?"

Ten rolls his eyes, brushing their hands against each other . "He's pretty, isn't he?"  
Ten is only half teasing, but there's a glint of something unreadable in Jaehyun's eyes. It's too fast though "Yes, we’ve established that he's pretty."

"Jaehyun," Ten sighs. "When was the last time you've been on a date?" "I don't know," Jaehyun replies, short. "I've been busy."

"Yeah,so have I!" Ten laughs.”But look, i make time for-”

"Dating?" Jaehyun snorts.

Ten laughs a little, and he runs a hand through his hair.

"Ten, I'm really not worried about that right now."

"Yeah, but—" Ten doesn't know why he's suddenly so invested in this.·"Maybe you should try, I could set you up—"

"Ten—"

"It doesn't have to be with him, it can be someone else. I know Taeyong has a few friends that are single, Johnny may know someone as well—"

"Ten, drop it." Jaehyun interrupts again, and he sounds firm now. "If I did want to date, I’d find someone"

"But you don’t even try!” Ten knows he’s pushing it. And objectively he should shut up. He's only trying to help Jaehyun like how Jaehyun helped him with Johnny.

"Will you stop?" Jaehyun finally snaps, looking at Ten coldly. "I just don’t need anything like that right now; with the drama and the comeback and everything else. And just because you're dating it doesn't mean I have to be, too."He continues, with a softer tone, like he is willing to explain. But there’s an unmistakable roughness in his voice. Ten doesn’t like it.

A silence settles in between then, Ten stunned with the deepness of Jaehyuns voice and Jaehyun looking away after a moment.

“Oh my god- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap I just- and you were just trying to help. Id just appreciate it if you didn’t bring it up anymore.”Jaehyun says looking guilty. But he’s still measured. Back to his soft sophisticated manner. Just the way he was brought up.

In front of Jaehyun Ten is standing up hurriedly, looking constipated. “Uh- I. I have to go. I’ll uh- yeah I’m leaving.” He says, flinging his bag on his shoulder and running past Jaehyun with immeasurable speed. By the time Jaehyun realizes what happened and turns around. All that's left is a door that is still reeling from the force of Ten running out. 

Oh Great. He’s gone and fucked this up too. He doesn't even get what he did wrong. Shouldn't he be the one angry? What was going on.  
(Another thing he can’t have and absolutely should not be trusted with: Time with Ten.)

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me onTWITTER


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